Yep, I’m sidelining the “me agreeing with Billy Graham” blog again! That’s because there is some tentatively exciting news out of Malaysia! Yes, it’s back to Malaysia! Those of you who haven’t been reading my blog for very long may not realize that almost a year ago I wrote a lengthy blog, called “The Malaysian Conundrum”, which detailed how Lina Joy, a Malay Muslim wasn’t allowed to officially convert from Islam to Christianity. Take a minute to read it and refresh yourself on the topic. I’ll wait.
Back? Good! Hold onto your hats folks because on May 8, 2008 a Malaysian religious court granted a woman’s wish to formally renounce Islam! So, how did Siti Fatimah get so lucky? It might have helped that she wasn’t originally a Muslim. She converted to Islam so she could marry her Muslim boyfriend, because in Malaysia non-Muslims must convert to Islam before they are allowed to legally marry a Muslim. Their marriage ended in 2006, and she requested to have her conversion annulled saying that she had only converted for marriage and had never been an actual practicing Muslim.
And it worked! “It’s a landmark case”, the attorney who represented Fatimah is quoted telling Reuters.UK. Unfortunately, Reuters explains that Islamic affairs are governed at state level, so the ruling does not necessarily set a precedent for sharia courts in Malaysia’s other states. The Penang religious council has already signaled that it is likely to appeal the ruling.
That’s why I had to write about this so quickly…the victory may be short lived.
Category: Christianity/Catholicism
Which Religion has the Best Cell Phone?
In the land of “bling” (as the kids say), you see all kinds of stuff getting the “bling” treatment. Diamond encrusted jewelry, tricked out cars, and super snazzy cell phones are all items to denote wealth and status. Which is why I was intrigued to see Computerworld.com’s headline, “Which religion has the best cell phone?” The column by Mike Elgan is an entertaining look at the ins and outs of cell phones for the faithful.
Like Elgan, I was shocked to learn that there may be no Christian cell phones. There are accessories galore for the cell phone savvy Christian to get their phone on, but no 100 percent Christian phones. He was also unable to find Hindu or Sikh cell phones, which is a bummer because I might give up my crappy pay as you go phone if I could get a cool looking cell with Kali on it.
So who were the big three? Jews, Muslims, and Buddhists.
In third place was the Jewish cell phone. This essentially is a phone about denial to help Orthodox Jews be good boys and girls. In second was the Muslim cell phone. This is genius because if you’re Muslim stuck in a foreign city, how do you know exactly when to pray and which direction Mecca is in? Well, with the phones listed in the article they will remind you to pray, help you locate a mosque, and will point you towards Mecca! I have to admit, despite not being Muslim I wouldn’t mind having a phone that would point towards Mecca…that’s just cool! With the way things are going these days, I’m guessing it would come with a government listening device already installed for everyone’s convenience!
Finally, Elgan gave first place to the Buddhist cell phone. I’m not sure what Buddha would think of it, but if this gold-plated, jade accented bad boy was available in the U.S. you would see it in every hip hop video on MTV. To get a good look at this Nokia, check out this Trendhunter.com article.
This Just In: Guess I Was Wrong About Harry Potter Readers
Well, I was bound to get one wrong. Those of you who read my blog regularly may remember that back in July of 2007 I wrote a blog called “This Just In: Harry Potter Readers Won’t Go to Hell”. Perhaps I spoke too soon since on January 17, 2008 Telegraph.co.uk ran a piece explaining that Harry Potter has been condemned in the official Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano.
See what I said in 2007.
See how wrong I was here.
Sorry Harry fans, as far as the Vatican is concerned…you’re doomed.
The Resurrection of “My Sweet Jesus”
It’s going to be tough to have this discussion without potentially offending someone, but oh well, the giant chocolate Jesus is back and I’m psyched! For those of you who may have missed it, last spring artist Cosimo Cavallaro created an anatomically accurate statue of Jesus out of 200 pounds of chocolate. The piece, titled “My Sweet Lord”, was going to be displayed on the ground floor of The Roger Smith Hotel in midtown New York City starting April 1 (Palm Sunday) and run through Easter Sunday.
That poor hotel. They had protests, boycotts, petitions, and even death threats. Why? Was it because it was made out of a rich, dark, chocolate instead of white chocolate? (I always chuckle when I think of this option. Have you ever watched the animated series “The Boondocks”? In the first episode Huey explains that he never saw “Passion of the Christ” because it had a white Jesus. The black verses white Jesus debate is also brought up in the beginning of the awesome movie “Saved”.) Did it have to do with Jesus’ exposed Hostess Ho Ho (if you get my meaning)? Was it the invitation for spectators to eat a piece of the sculpture, which was a truly inspired way for the viewer to allow Jesus to become a part of them? Was it the Palm Sunday opening, an appropriate time to encourage people to consider the life of Jesus? The world will never truly know if it was one of those things or many, since in the world of religious over sensitives no real reason needs to be given to justify death threats on poor bell hops who don’t give two craps about a giant hunk of chocolate. Don’t even get me started on the ramifications of threatening artists over their subject matter! It makes my First Amendment emergency lights start flashing.
All of that is in the past because chocolate Jesus is back, and he’s brought some saints with him! The Proposition Gallery will be featuring an exhibition of Cavallaro’s work called “Chocolate Saints…Sweet Jesus”. All the biggest and brightest of the Catholic world will be there in their finest life-like chocolate rendering; Saint Francis, Saint Jude, the Virgin Mary, and more. And of course, “My Sweet Lord”, a recasting of the giant chocolate Jesus that caused so much trouble, despite being beautifully crafted and totally delicious in appearance!
The exhibition will run from October 27 to November 24, 2007 (to coincide with All Saints Day). Hey, it opens this Friday! Where is all the drama? Well, all of us chocolate Jesus fans can relax. On October 16 The Catholic League, the fun loving bunch that brought you chocolate Jesus protests and editing Kathy Griffin, issued the most subtle and not so subtle statement saying that essentially, The Proposition gallery isn’t very visible, that the idea of crafting an image of Jesus is appropriate for Halloween, and that All Saint’s Day just isn’t as important to them as Palm Sunday. Of course maybe that’s just my sarcastic and biased interpretation. What do you think?
“’My Sweet Jesus,’ another life-sized chocolate sculpture of a naked crucified Jesus by artist Cosimo Cavallaro, will be displayed in a New York gallery on West 22nd Street from October 27 through November 24. Unlike last spring, when we launched a boycott against Manhattan’s posh Roger Smith Hotel (the boycott was dropped when the hotel cancelled the exhibition of an identical Cavallaro statue, “My Sweet Lord”), the Catholic League will not protest this showing.
When the Roger Smith Hotel originally planned to host ‘My Sweet Lord,’ the work was set to be unveiled on April 1, Palm Sunday, and run through Easter Sunday. In addition, the midtown hotel’s gallery is located on street level, easily visible through windows to the public. Any child strolling with his parents through the popular area could have been subjected to the piece. And comments by the artist certainly didn’t help matters—he previously invited the public to come inside and take a bite of Jesus.
Since ‘My Sweet Jesus’ isn’t going to be displayed on the ground floor of an established hotel in midtown, and since Halloween is more appropriate for Cavallaro’s crafts than Easter, our central objections are not applicable this time around. The Catholic League doesn’t approve of the piece, but this upcoming display won’t be as public, nor will it be an ostentatious assault on Christian sensibilities during Holy Week.”
Although, none of this matters. Not the Catholic League, not my snarky comments about the Catholic League. What matters is that although struck down by nonbelievers, “My Sweet Jesus” is back…and more chocolately than ever.
First, I’d Like to Thank Jesus for This Blog…
I love Kathy Griffin. I always have, and I imagine I always will. I frequently tell people that I want to be the Kathy Griffin of the spirituality set. I shamelessly use her bits in conversations with friends and family, sometimes even giving her credit. I love her vicious mocking of celebrity. On the surface it all seems so simple. Kathy makes fun of celebrities. Perhaps, I’m reading too much into her work, but I personally feel there is so much more to it than that.
Yes, the bulk of Kathy’s material comes from the examination of celebrities. She harpoons and deflates the largest stars out there, such as Oprah, Tom Cruise, and Whitney Houston. This kind of deconstruction of icons to expose their remarkably human flaws, such as vanity and obsession, is actually reminiscent of court jesters of the past. Those savvy Magical Buffet readers know that the court jester is just another manifestation of the trickster god archetype. The trickster god mocks those most important members of society to keep them in check. In those terms Kathy’s humor would be suited for tackling politicians or royalty, but in this day and age, she has chosen to tackle the nearly deific realm of celebrity.
That’s why it came as no surprise to me that when given the opportunity to attack the most sacred of celebrity moments, the Emmy acceptance speech, she managed to take it to task. Much like almost any story she tells about Gwyneth Paltrow.
“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it Jesus, this award is my god now!”
Is there a more perfect parody and take down of this holier than thou validation of celebrity? Well hold onto your golden statuettes because the ride is about to get bumpy!
Responding to pressure from the Catholic League, Kathy’s acceptance speech will be censored in the taped airing of the awards ceremony.
“The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences reacted responsibly to our criticism of Kathy Griffin’s verbal assault on 85 percent of the U.S. population. The ball is now in Griffin’s court. The self-described ‘complete militant atheist’ needs to make a swift and unequivocal apology to Christians. If she does, she will get this issue behind her. If she does not, she will be remembered as a foul-mouthed bigot for the rest of her life,” Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, from their website.
Now, Jim’s, my husband, first response to all of this was, “Does that mean if Atheists raise a stink, the Emmys will edit out any celebrity thanking Jesus?”
Funny you should ask. A quick visit to the American Atheist website will give you this tid bit from their president, Ellen Johnson, “It’s permissible to make religious comments at the Emmy Awards and other public events as long as they do not criticize or threaten the self-appointed ‘Religion Police,’” said Johnson. “Celebrities can go on national television to ‘thank’ Jesus, or Allah, or Scientology for their success, but an Atheist cannot make an honest and forthright statement that their success came from developing their talents and working hard.”
In fact, if you click here you can see how American Atheist is rallying support for Kathy. Better still, you can visit http://suckitjesus.com/.
Here’s a point I want to make. In no way is she making fun of Catholics or other Christian denominations. Seriously. You really have got to want it to think she is. Kathy doesn’t roll that way. How do I know? Well, for all the years of making fun of Tom Cruise, not once has she made fun of his fans.
Also, as Jim pointed out to me, everyone is avoiding the real issue here. Does Jesus really rig awards?
By the way, to learn more about Kathy Griffin, click here.
Osama bin Laden+Jesus=Art?
On August 29, 2007 the winner of the 2007 Blake Prize was announced. According to the Blake Prize website, “The Blake Prize for Religious Art is one of the more prestigious art prizes in Australia. For 55 years it has been awarding a prize for works of art that explore the subject of religious awareness and spirituality.” This year’s winner was Shirley Purdie and her piece “Stations of the Cross”. However, the winning piece isn’t what people are talking about.
“The Fourth Secret of Fatima” by Luke Sullivan and “Bearded Orientals: Making the Empire Cross” by Priscilla Bracks are all anyone wants to discuss. “The Fourth Secret of Fatima” is a statue of Mary wearing a burqa and “Bearded Orientals” pairs a portrait of Christ with one of terrorist Osama bin Laden looking like Jesus. The inclusion of these two pieces are causing quite a stir in Australia. To see these pieces click here.
Australian Prime Minister John Howard was quoted in “The Daily Telegraph” saying, “The choice of such artwork is gratuitously offensive to the religious beliefs of many Australians.” Sydney’s Catholic Archbishop, Cardinal George Pell, has been quite vocal with his displeasure, “Some contemporary art is tedious and trivial. These couple of works demonstrate this. Regrettably, attempts to insult Jesus and Mary have become common in recent years, even predictable. Too often it seems that the only quality which makes something ‘art’ is the adolescent desire to shock. If this is the best the Blake Prize can do, it has probably outlived its usefulness.” (I have to point out here, that obviously these two pieces weren’t “the best the Blake Prize can do” since a totally different piece won the $15,000 prize.)
Enough about the Catholics, what do Australian Muslims have to say about all this hooplah? Ikebal Patel, the President of the Australian Federation of Islamic Councils offers some unique perspectives. He is quoted in the “Sydney Morning Herald” saying, “So [Mary wearing a burqa is] no different to how our mothers and sisters are expected to be modest in their dressing.” He explains that the statue is not at all offensive because both the Virgin Mary and Jesus are revered figures in Islam. However, Patel was offended in many different ways by “Bearded Orientals”. “You have a revered prophet of Islam (that would be Jesus) being equated to somebody like Osama bin Laden. Also in Islam, we don’t have any paintings or drawings depicting any of our prophets, so I find it quite offensive,” he states.
Look at all this debate! The Anglican Bishop of south Sydney, Robert Forsyth, is quoted saying, “Is the one of Mary having a go at religions for oppressing women?” (My new friends at Roman Catholic Womenpriests, probably have something to say to that!) According to the “Washington Post”, Bracks (the artist who did “Bearded Orientals” told Australian radio, “I’m interested in having a discussion, and asking questions about how we think about our world and what we accept, and what we don’t accept.” Reverend Pattenden, Blake Society Chairman, says neither of the two artists had set out to offend anyone, and he was not personally affronted, “They are both works which made me stop and think.”
Now I ask you this, isn’t that what art is all about?
Today I Prayed For…
I was a big fan of the television show “The West Wing”. I also loved “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” (created by the same guy) but it got cancelled and I’m bitter so I would thank you not to bring that up.) Anyway, there was this amusing little bit in the episode “Debate Camp” that I always liked involving 600,000 Evangelicals praying for C.J. (the White House Press Secretary). It went like this:
BILL STARK
(enters) Excuse me, C.J.
C.J.
Yeah?
BILL STARK
Bill Stark. I’m with "Kingspeak." We’re a magazine that reaches over 600,000
Christians Evangelicals. I’m sorry I missed your first briefing. I heard you did well.
C.J.
I can do better.
BILL
I wanted to tell you that on December 10th, all 600,000 will be praying for you.
C.J.
Really?
BILL
That’s right.
C.J.
I don’t understand.
BILL
Well, once a year, we identify the 365 most influential people in media and we assign each of them a calendar day and we pray for them.
C.J.
I really don’t know what to say in response to that sort of kindness.
Later in the episode it comes up once more with humorous results.
LEO
Not quite. Our report card for our first two weeks in office. The President’s approval has gone from 61% during the transition– when, I suppose, there’s nothing to approve– to 49% once there was. 47% see him as a strong leader– a result of bungling the Rooker nomination–and African-American support, which basically elected him, has gone from 92 to 78. Finally, if the election were held today, the President would be Chairman of the Economics Department at Phillips Andover Academy. Can anyone report anything good?
C.J.
600,000 Evangelicals are praying for me… so… we have that going for us.
LEO
What the hell are you talking about?
C.J.
It’s true– a guy gave me this card: "365 in Media."
SAM
Who are the others?
C.J.
I don’t know, let’s see… "Hugh Hefner, Don Imus, Howard Stern…" all the late-night guys. This is… one, two, three… this is the Editorial Board of The New York
Times. This isn’t a good list, this is a list of people who are going to hell!
TOBY
Yes.
C.J.
They’re not praying for me because they like me! It’s ’cause I’m doomed to eternal damnation!
SAM
Well, if you weren’t, it’d be a waste of praying.
C.J.
You’re on the list too, pal.
SAM
Can I see that?
LEO
You can all leave.
I always found this to be one of those amusing things that seemed real but obviously was not. Well hold onto your hats because I bring you The Hollywood Prayer Network! According to their website, “The Hollywood Prayer Network is a non-denominational Christian prayer ministry for the purpose of praying for the people, the projects and the powerful influence of the Entertainment Industry. HPN believes that by mobilizing global prayer we can be a part of God’s miraculous work of changing the spiritual climate of Hollywood, from the inside out.” Here’s where things get totally fun, if you click on the National Media Prayer Breakfast link on their homepage you get taken to here, and you see this!
How awesome is that? There really is a calendar! I love it! They really tell you who to pray for each day!
Okay, serious time. I don’t find this offensive at all. C.J. was right, they are praying for her because they think she’s going to hell (damn liberals!) but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re praying for her. It’s not like they’re sitting around praying to God for her untimely demise, essentially they’re praying that she allows God to work through her, blah, blah, blah. Harmless stuff, and certainly not going to hurt anyone. And besides, it’s totally fun!
I hope one day The Hollywood Prayer Network sets aside a day for people to pray for me!
By the way, today is September 1, 2007. You should be praying for Christina Norman, President of MTV and MTV, and "cultural influencer" Conan O’Brien.
Buddy Christ vs. Kali (With Kung Fu Grips): Coming to a Wal-Mart Near You
Beginning in mid-August roughly 425 Wal-Mart stores will be selling a faith-based toy line in their preschool aisle. The line includes Ester, Moses, Noah, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and more. This is being billed as the first time Wal-Mart has offered a full line of faith-based toys. For a thorough article, click here.
Okay, can we quit saying faith-based people? What you mean to say is Christian toys. If I can’t buy a Kali action figure with kung fu grips, your line isn’t faith-based, it’s Judeo Christian based. A visit to one2believe’s, the company making the toys, website makes the Christ in faith-based pretty darn evident. To see the whole line of toys, click here.
What my readers may find amusing is that I don’t actually have a problem with Wal-Mart selling these. I mean, why not? My problem will be when I find out they WON’T carry my Kali action figure. I’m telling you, I could make some serious money with a Kali action figure! My other problem is that the same people that are okay with little Billy learning about Jesus by chewing and drooling on his plastic head probably weren’t okay with this. I love Buddy Christ. I love the movie “Dogma”. For that matter, I love Kevin Smith. Where was I? Oh yes, outrage and such.
I believe Ellen Johnson, president of American Atheists, made a fun, bitchy, and true comment in the Canada.com story. “Isn’t religion the one who is always claiming that everybody is so materialistic? And now we’re marketing Jesus dolls.” Johnson showed amazing restraint since in that same article one2believe’s founder David Socha said, “What’s nice is that they’re real as opposed to other superheroes that are out there.” I can’t believe the president of American Atheists didn’t take the obvious shot there. Maybe she didn’t know he said it. Let me help her out here. Um, real? To an Atheist, um, not real. To a Hindu, not real. To a Buddhist, not real. To a Pagan, Wiccan, or Druid, not real. Congrats there Socha, they’re real only to those who use the Old and/or New Testament of the Bible.
So here’s the deal Wal-Mart. I don’t mind you carrying “faith-based” toys, but if I find out you’re opting not to carry other “faith-based” toys, or that your salespeople are ramming them down customers throats in an attempt to “spread the word”, I’ll be back. And when I come back, it won’t be the Buddy Christ, it will be Kali (with kung fu grips!).
This Just In: Harry Potter Readers Won’t Go to Hell
Well, now that the seventh book has released, the world can see that all the Harry Potter controversies have been much ado about nothing. Let’s see, there were the plagiarism complaints. If you have ever read the fabulous graphic novel “Books of Magic” (If you haven’t go buy the first book today!) you can see why some people have a problem with Rowling’s “innovative” ideas. Then there were the feminist groups remarking on a lack of strong female characters. Their argument being that where Harry Potter and Professor Dumbledore show limitless courage, bravery, and wisdom, their counter parts Hermione and Professor McGonagall show frailty. In addition, of course, there were the concerns from religious organizations that the Harry Potter universe of witches and wizards would lead the youth down a path of wickedness.
Everyone can relax; you’re not going to go to Hell (if you even believe in such a place) for reading the Harry Potter books! Well, at least according to the Church of England. Diocese of Oxford Bishop John Pritchard was quoted in The Christian Post (Click Here for Story) as saying, "Jesus used storytelling to engage and challenge his listeners. There’s nothing better than a good story to make people think, and there’s plenty in the Harry Potter books to make young people think about the choices they make in their everyday lives and their place in the world.”
Owen Smith, a youth worker at St. Margaret’s Church in the United Kingdom, has written a book called “Mixing it Up with Harry Potter”. The Church of England’s publishing company is publishing it. The Church’s press release states, “Using film scenes in which the characters make tough decisions to prompt discussion about moral choices and extracts from the books that demonstrate the power of words and their impact on others, the resource has creative ideas for using the Potter books as a basis for Christian teaching.”
Smith has also written “Mixing it Up with the Simpsons”. According to Globe and Mail (Click Here for Story), “Mr. Smith started writing the book 18 months ago when pre-teens at the Sunday school where he teaches told him they were far more interested in The Simpsons and Harry Potter than Jesus and apostles.”
It’s nice to see a religious body recognizing that there are moral lessons to be learned in stories, not just traditional Bible stories. There are many good moral lessons to be found in the television show “The Simpsons” and they’re in the Harry Potter series.
Personally, I’ve been working on the “10 Moral Lessons of The Family Guy.” I’m at five and counting….
The Driver’s Ten Commandments
If you watch “The Daily Show”, “The Colbert Report”, or heck even “Headline News”, then you’ve already heard about the “Driver’s Ten Commandments”. This was part of a larger document, the “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road”, that was issued by the Vatican on June 19, 2007. Technically, this is old news, with it being July and all, but in case you hadn’t seen this already I’m covering it now, also, I think it’s fun and timeless.
Actually, despite how easy it is to poke fun at the “Driver’s Ten Commandments” I feel that I should do the thing that no news outlet has done yet, which is provide a little context. As I said, the “Commandments” are part of a larger document. This document was never intended for the average Joe Catholic. According to the presentation at the beginning, “These Guidelines are aimed at bishops, priests, religious and other pastoral workers, as a further step towards a pastoral care that pays increasing attention to all expressions of human mobility, and is integrated within ordinary, local and parochial pastoral care.” The “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road” covers four very separate categories that are connected by that pavement river we call, the road.
Part one is, “Pastoral Care of Road Users”, which includes the infamous “Commandments”. The other three parts are, “Pastoral Ministry for the Liberation of Street Women”, “Pastoral Care of Street Children”, and “Pastoral Care of the Homeless”. Still funny? The fact is, this document is to help provide guidance to Catholics leaders on the church’s stance on these topics and how to help educate others in the subject matter and how best the Church can help solve the dilemmas of these groups.
Yes, road users are a dilemma. Don’t believe me? Then you do not have to commute for your job. I worked in retail for over 10 years. You know what made me dislike people? One year of commuting to my office job. Accidents, reckless driving, the stress of traffic jams, drunk drivers, and more, are all important issues that face every driver, whether they’re Catholic or not. The “Pastoral Care of Road Users” is comical in it’s presentation of the problems drivers face (“In addition to traffic congestion, people are directly exposed to dangers deriving from other related problems, such as noise, air pollution and intensive use of raw materials.”), but it does encourage the Church to help educate people in the importance of traffic safety and to contribute support for campaigns and programs aimed at bettering roads and traffic safety. For all of the document’s comic value, and believe me, it has it in spades; at its heart, it’s a well-meaning document.
Now that I’ve been far more fair and generous to the Catholic Church than I may ever be again, let’s check out the “Driver’s Ten Commandments”!
I. You shall not kill.
II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
III. Courtesy, uprightness, and prudence will help you deal unforeseen events.
IV. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
VII. Support the families of accident victims.
VIII. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
X. Feel responsible towards others.
Actually, now that I’m reading them, I can’t bring myself to poke fun because I cannot help but wish that more people on my commute seemed to follow these. Although, there is a few that are missing, maybe I need “Rebecca’s Ten Commandments for Drivers”.
I. Thou shall not speed in the slow lane nor go below the speed limit in the middle lane.
II. When it is merely cloudy, and there is no precipitation, thou shall not drive as if there is precipitation.
III. Drivers shall not decelerate just because they are on a bridge.
IV. Drivers shall not decelerate before the exit ramp, for the exit ramp exists for deceleration.
V. Likewise, drives shall accelerate while using on ramps, for they are designed for acceleration.
VI. Drivers shall use their blinkers whenever they are turning or changing lanes.
VII. Drivers shall not use cell phones, even if a hands free device is employed, while driving. There is a reason why our Lord created voice mail.
VIII. If thy vehicle is incapable of achieving the minimum posted speed limit, than thou shall not drive it on that road.
IX. Thou shall decelerate if necessary to let a driver merge.
X. If at all possible, thou shall not be on NY I-87 at the hours of 8:30 a.m. or 4:00 p.m.
If you’re interested, the entire Vatican document can be found here: http://212.77.1.245/news_services/bulletin/news/20451.php?index=20451&po_date=19.06.2007&lang=po#PART%20ONE%20THE%20PASTORAL%20CARE%20OF%20ROAD%20USERS