{"id":233,"date":"2022-10-13T16:26:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-13T16:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2022\/10\/13\/tuesdays-in-jail\/"},"modified":"2022-10-13T16:26:00","modified_gmt":"2022-10-13T16:26:00","slug":"tuesdays-in-jail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2022\/10\/13\/tuesdays-in-jail\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesdays in Jail"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"This is an excerpt from the incredibly moving book “Tuesdays in Jail: What I Learned Teaching Journaling to Inmates” by Tina Welling.<\/em><\/p>\n

What do you want me to do with this?Phillip asked me and nodded to the journal I’d passed to an officer to give him.<\/p>\n

Phillip looked to be in his late thirties, healthy, strong, very attentive, and nicely mannered. Called me ma’am. But I saw something behind those hazel eyes. Chaotic mind spins, I suspected, that kept his thoughts circling like hungry coyotes around an injured elk. He came down to meet with me alone from being locked up in a maximum-security cell. He was still locked up, but so was I, since we each sat in a separate locked-down room divided by a grate. This is typically the way I meet with maximum security inmates when I conduct my weekly journaling workshops at my local county jail.<\/p>\n

I told him that the journal was his, adding that no one in my seven years had ever had a journal taken away from them or read by anyone.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0However,I said, don’t incriminate yourself.I explained that journaling was all about the inner life ,\u009d thoughts, emotions, memories, dreams, fears, and hopes. I said, Write about that.<\/p>\n

I suggested we do a quick exercise, my old standby for when I had no clues yet about what an inmate needed.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0Name three people you admire and enjoy.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0They can be real people or movie or book characters, dead or alive, family members or strangers.Next I asked him to write down the qualities he admired about these people. I gave him a few minutes, and then I asked about his list.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0Did you come up with three people?<\/p>\n

Phillip said, Yes, ma’am. I put down my uncle, my older brother, and my grandfather.<\/p>\n

And what did you put down for the characteristics you admire in them?<\/p>\n

Phillip read from his journal.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0Honesty, trustworthiness, hardworking, fun to be around, kind, intelligent, interesting, real likable. Ma’am.<\/p>\n

I said, All those qualities belong to you too, Phillip, or at least the potential for them, the seed of them, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to recognize them in others.<\/p>\n

He looked stunned. <\/p>\n

His eyes glistened.<\/p>\n

Then a faint smile.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0Then the smile grew bigger and Phillip got excited. He dropped the yes, ma’ams.<\/p>\n

Dude, you don’t know what you just did for me. Dude, you don’t know what you just said. Aw, dude.<\/p>\n

He blinked back tears.<\/p>\n

I blinked back mine.<\/p>\n

I talk shit to myself. I’m up there in that crummy cell all alone and I tell myself what a piece of crap I am and I just want to\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0you know.<\/p>\n

I didn’t know. But after he told me his older brother was his idol and that he had committed suicide this past year, I guessed I did know. But this moment felt as if a skinny beam of light was shining into deep darkness.<\/p>\n

I assigned Phillip homework.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0This week fill a couple of pages in your journal with a list of your good qualities. And then you’ll have this to remind yourself.<\/p>\n

Our time was up.<\/p>\n

Why were we all so hard on ourselves, so quick to absorb blame, feel shame, head for the lowest possible judgment of ourselves? I was guilty of this.\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c2\u00af\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u0082\u00ac\u00c5\u00a0The first hint of an edgy relationship, and I’m all over myself like ants on a picnic crumb, devouring my actions and words, finding fault in both. I used the harshest language on myself, set higher standards for my actions than for anyone else’s. It could take a long time of self-recrimination for me to realize who I was at heart, to revive trust in my worthiness.<\/p>\n

I like to tell the inmates a story I heard from my meditation teacher about a time when the Dalai Lama met with a large group of American Buddhist teachers who had gathered in Dharamsala, India.<\/p>\n

The Dalai Lama asked, What is the biggest issue for American spiritual seekers?<\/p>\n

The Buddhist teachers said, Self-esteem.<\/p>\n

But the Dalai Lama didn’t understand what the term meant.<\/p>\n

The Americans tried to translate it for him. After several attempts to explain, one teacher said, They don’t love themselves.<\/p>\n

And the Dalai Lama cried.<\/p>\n

\"\"About Tina Welling:<\/strong>
\nTina Welling is the author of Tuesdays in Jail: What I Learned Teaching Journaling to Inmates. She also wrote four other books, as well as nonfiction that has appeared in national magazines and seven anthologies. The recipient of a Wyoming Arts Council writing fellowship, she has been conducting her Writing Wild workshops for ten years. Visit her online at http:\/\/www.tinawelling.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Excerpted from the book from “Tuesdays in Jail: What I Learned Teaching Journaling to Inmates”. Copyright \u00c3\u0082\u00c2\u00a92022 by Tina Welling. Printed with permission from New World Library<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Get your own copy here.<\/a> (This is an affiliate link to my Bookshop, which supports independent bookstores throughout the United States. If you use this link to purchase the book, I will make a small commission at no additional cost to you.)<\/p>\n

Do you enjoy The Magical Buffet? Considering supporting The Magical Buffet on Patreon! For only $5 a month you’ll receive monthly tarot\/oracle forecasts, classes, and behind the scenes updates! Https:\/\/www.patreon.com\/magicalbuffet<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today we have an excerpt from the beautiful book “Tuesdays in Jail: What I Learned Teaching Journaling to Inmates” by Tina Welling.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}