{"id":5319,"date":"2011-10-19T16:19:25","date_gmt":"2011-10-19T20:19:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/blog1\/2011\/10\/02\/"},"modified":"2011-10-19T16:19:25","modified_gmt":"2011-10-19T20:19:25","slug":"change-the-way-you-speak-and-change-the-way-you-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themagicalbuffet.com\/blog1\/?p=5319","title":{"rendered":"Change the Way You Speak, and Change the Way You Think"},"content":{"rendered":"

An Excerpt from Creative Thinkering: Putting Your Imagination<\/em> to Work by Michael Michalko<\/p>\n

We often describe things, good or bad, in terms of what they are not. For example, this morning I ran into an old friend and asked him how he was feeling. He answered, \u201cNo complaints.\u201d Now, what does that mean? Does it mean he has a list of complaints taped on his bedroom wall that he reads every morning to see if he has anything to complain about?<\/p>\n

Pay attention to how your friends and colleagues talk. You will find that many speak a language of exclusion, a language about \u201cwhat is not,\u201d instead of \u201cwhat is\u201d or \u201cwhat can be.\u201d You give an idea to your supervisor at work and you hear, \u201cNot bad.\u201d Does that mean every other idea you offered was bad? You suggest that you implement a new plan or idea and you hear, \u201cIt won\u2019t hurt.\u201d Does that mean that everything else you implemented did hurt?<\/p>\n

How many times have you heard a friend say to you something like, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we get together for lunch?\u201d What\u2019s interesting is that when someone asks another person \u201cWhy don\u2019t we,\u201d the receiver frequently replies with some type of \u201cno.\u201d When someone says, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we…?\u201d our first unconscious impulse may be to begin to think of reasons why not to get together. The phrasing creates ambivalence. However, if you were to change the question to \u201cHow about getting together on Monday?\u201d or \u201cLet\u2019s get together on Monday,\u201d the ambivalence would disappear. <\/p>\n

THINK \u201cYES\u201d<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/a>Because most adults focus on deficiencies, they phrase some of their thoughts and ideas with negatives such as no, never, don\u2019t, and not. As you read this, you might be thinking, \u201cI never would have thought of that\u201d or \u201cNot a bad insight.\u201d Rephrase your thought to \u201cThis is the first time I ever thought about that.\u201d Or \u201cThat\u2019s an exciting insight that could explain a lot.\u201d Notice how the switch from \u201cwhat is not\u201d to \u201cwhat is\u201d affects your perception of the information. You now feel interest, curiosity, surprise, and even fascination. You can feel your consciousness expand.<\/p>\n

Children, before they become educated, speak a different language, a language of inclusion, a language of \u201cwhat is\u201d and \u201cwhat can be.\u201d If you ask children how they feel, they\u2019ll tell you. They\u2019ll say, \u201cGreat,\u201d or \u201cAwesome,\u201d or \u201cSleepy,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m sick.\u201d Offer an idea to a child, and the child will reply, \u201cGreat\u201d or \u201cInteresting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Suppose you go to Disneyland with your family, and you have a wonderful time. I come up to you and ask, \u201cHow did you like Disneyland?\u201d If your response is \u201cNot bad,\u201d that description of what is not may come across in a cool monotone barren of enthusiasm.<\/p>\n

But what if you say, \u201cGreat\u201d? Notice that there is a difference in volume, in affect, in intonation \u2014 in the whole feeling associated with the word great. Your volume goes up. Your mouth gets more relaxed. Your thoughts and feelings are different when you talk about what\u2019s there, as opposed to what\u2019s missing.<\/p>\n

By changing your language and speaking patterns in a positive way, so that they are about \u201cwhat\u2019s there,\u201d you guarantee a feeling of optimism and real output in performance. What you say affects how you feel. How you feel affects how you think, and vice versa. All language, feelings, and thoughts interact with each other, and the entire accumulation of those influences creates your output and behavior.<\/p>\n

Thought is not different from emotion. Suppose a friend keeps you waiting for two hours. You can get angry, thinking, \u201cWhat does he mean, treating me like this? He has no concern, no consideration for me. He\u2019s always treating me badly,\u201d and so on. By thinking in this way, you get very angry. Then, when he arrives and explains that he was late because of an accident that held up traffic, the anger dissipates. This shows that the emotion was influenced by thought. If you change your thought, the anger fades.<\/p>\n

CHANGE THE WAY YOU SPEAK, AND YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL<\/p>\n

If you change one element \u2014 your language \u2014 your thoughts and feelings will be changed as well. The cumulative impact will be new patterns of output and behavior. This is where you can make a conscious decision to become a positive-thinking person by creating positive speaking patterns.<\/p>\n

Once I stayed at the storied Ritz-Carlton in Montreal. Usually I don\u2019t like staying in expensive hotels. Yet in the Ritz I felt great. I discussed my feelings with the manager, and he told me his secret. He told me that the most significant factor for their success was training their employees to frame everything they say in a positive manner. For example, employees who perform services for you will say, \u201cIt\u2019s a pleasure,\u201d instead of something like \u201cNo problem,\u201d when you thank them. Or \u201cOur restaurant would be pleased to serve you tonight,\u201d instead of \u201cWhy don\u2019t you visit our restaurant?\u201d Guests feel welcome and appreciated, and find themselves feeling happy and positive. By the end of my stay, I was framing everything I had to say in a positive way. The Ritz-Carlton experience demonstrates how language allows us to influence ourselves and others in a particular way \u2014 we can transfer our own mental state to another\u2019s mind. <\/p>\n

Starting any behavior pattern is easier than stopping one. It\u2019s easier to concentrate on starting to breathe clean air, starting to eat more healthy foods, starting to learn to relax, starting to hit the golf ball down the fairway, and starting to be more upbeat by changing your speaking patterns. Stripping negatives from your speech pattern and speaking about \u201cwhat is,\u201d instead of \u201cwhat is not,\u201d will, over time, cultivate a positive attitude and change your perspective on your work and, indeed, on life itself.<\/p>\n

Excerpted from the book Creative Thinkering: Putting Your Imagination to Work<\/strong> \u00a92011 by Michael Michalko. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA. www.newworldlibrary.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Michael Michalko is the author of Creative Thinkering<\/em>, Thinkertoys<\/em>, Cracking Creativity<\/em>, and ThinkPak<\/em>. While an army officer, he organized a team of NATO intelligence specialists and international academics to find the best inventive thinking method. He has expanded and taught these techniques to numerous Fortune 500 companies and organizations. He lives in Rochester, New York. Visit him online at http:\/\/www.CreativeThinking.net<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"