Immortal Blues: Part Two

By Greg Bullard

Welcome to part two of the nine part fiction series “Immortal Blues” by Greg Bullard. In part two we meet The Crone, Isabella, and her granddaughter Marisela. In search of answers do we instead get more questions? Need to catch up? You can start at part one here.

An hour past midnight, I’d made good time; Isabella would still be up. With a click I flipped shut my watch and slid it back into my pocket. Tilting my head up and to the side I eyed the moon, bright and high in the clear sky, it’d be full in a few days. Sighing inwardly I turned left and stuck to the street lights, skirting the edge of Prospect Park instead of walking through it. It may be late, but I couldn’t take the chance of being seen in the moonlight, too many questions.

I covered the last few blocks warily. Already it had been a long night. Someone was trying to kill me, leaving me with two big questions. First, I wanted to know who. Second, I wanted to know how they could have a gunman waiting for me in the shadow of an alley I hadn’t even known I was going to pass by until I wandered aimlessly in that direction.

Minutes later I could see Isabella’s house in the distance. Dim light filtered through the age-stained, white lace curtains, spilling out onto the stoop of the old brownstone. I could feel the power of the wards even as I approached.

Seconds later, standing in front of the doorway, I waited. There was no need to announce my presence, they knew I was here. When the door opened a lovely girl of medium height, in her early 20s, wearing a white dress craned her neck back to watch me as I towered over her. Her full, petulant lips sat below large, dark brown eyes. The flawless olive skin of her face was framed by straight, long, black hair.

“Marisela,” I said in a rough, whispered tone, inclining my head slightly by way of greeting, “May I speak with your grandmother?”

“It’s late, she’s asleep,” she answered in curt, clipped tones.

Tilting my head to the side, I nodded at a tiny bowl of honeyed milk and fresh baked bread sitting on the sill, visible through the window and said, “She’s expecting me. She always leaves an offering for the Wee Folk when she expects me.”

As if on cue the frayed voice of the old woman cut in from beyond the hallway, “Please show our guest to the sitting room Marisela.”

“Yes Grandmama,” she answered, stepping back to allow me into their home.

Without needing a guide, I took the first left and passed through a dark velvet drape to the dim sitting room beyond. A windowless room, there were no electric lights, and it shown with the flickering illumination of the few dozen candles burning within.

“Can I take your coat?” Marisela asked. Her words were polite, but carried the usual biting tone she used with me.

“No thank you Marisela,” she flinched at my use of her name, “I shan’t be long.”

“Good.”

Preferring to stand, I looked around at the paraphernalia around the room. Some of it was truly mystic, some just the trappings of the job – placed to set the mood for the marks, lubricant as it were, to help squeeze the extra dollar from wallets grown stiff and rusty in a bad economy.

A Tarot deck, worn with age, sat face down on the table at the side of the room, but for the single card upturned in the center, the Knight of Swords. It wasn’t there just for ambiance. Most of her patrons would never see that particular deck. She had been expecting me.

Marisela stalked into the room purposefully and handed me a fine porcelain cup of black tea, sweetened with honey and softened with milk. I raised it in salute to her, or in this case, to her back as she was already leaving, and I drank.

Shuffling out of an adjoining hallway on tired, old feet, assisted by a twisted, wooden walking stick, Isabella thumped and drug her way to a comfortable chair and sat heavily. She wheezed for a moment. I let her catch her breath.

“Death came calling for you tonight,” she pointed a long, tobacco-stained fingernail at me and laughed a throaty laugh that threatened to send her into a coughing fit she might not survive at her age.

“A pity, I wasn’t home,” I tried to sound dark and mysterious. I have a reputation to uphold.

“Ask your questions,” she spat the words more than she spoke them.

I ticked the questions off on the ends of my long, slender fingers, “Who is trying to have me killed? How did they know to have someone waiting in that alley?”

“What do you have for me?”

Pulling the sweat-stained wad of folded bills from my pocket, I peeled the outer bill from the stack and tossed it down to the table in front of her.

“We don’t want your filthy money,” Marisela hissed from where she stood in the shadows of the darkened archway beyond the sitting room.

Raising my eyebrows at her, I declined to respond. Gesturing at the bill, I told Isabella, “The killer was paid with this. It’s all I have to tie him to whoever hired him.”

With a quickness most wouldn’t consider possible from her parchment-leather, worn, arthritic fingers, Isabella pulled a small athame from the cord at her bosom and deftly sliced a thin edge off of the bill.

Pulling a pouch from the pocket of her peasant dress she removed an intricately carved pipe and began stuffing it with tobacco from the pouch. When she judged it set, she took her long pinky nail and scooped out a hollow in the center of the tobacco and deposited the strip sliced from the bill.

Lighting a taper from a black candle, she applied it to the pipe and drew a deep breath until the tobacco caught and began to burn with a sharp, sweet aroma.

Turning to the bank of candles at her right, she exhaled a slowly spreading cloud of smoke. Twisting and turning in her chair, she watched the smoke dance and play in the guttering light, swirling with the slight movement of air in the otherwise still room.

Presently she waved her hand through the smoke, dissipating it before she turned to me, took another draw on her pipe, exhaled, then leaned forward and spoke, “The man who was paid with this bill had instructions.”

Her voice changed slightly as she intoned, “A tall figure of shadows and lies will come tonight and stand at the window of the blues man. Kill him.” Standing, she waved me off and turned to hobble from the room with the thump and drag of her slow steps.

Taking this as just the opportunity she had been waiting for, Marisela said, “I’ll show you out.”

Separating four bills from the stack, I set them on the table and turned to leave. Just before I crossed the threshold of the door I spun quickly and reached a hand out to cup Marisela’s cheek. She froze beneath my touch.

I tilted her chin up as I leaned forward. Separated by less than a foot our eyes met and locked. I spoke softly but clearly without a trace of the rough whispered tones I typically used, the singsong lilt of my voice brushed aside her animosity as I said, “Thank you for the tea, Marisela.”

She trembled beneath my touch and her cheeks flushed. She cast her eyes down trying to break from my intense gaze and mumbled softly that I was welcome.

Leaving her shaken and short of breath in her doorway, I stepped outside once more. My long coat swirled about my knees as I drank in my surroundings before turning and walking quickly away. It was important that I make it home before morning twilight.

About Greg Bullard:
Greg currently resides in Austin, TX, trying to do his part to Keep Austin Weird. While his wife, Julia, and daughter, Emily, both work hard to keep him on his toes, it is Julia’s red editing pen that does the most work. When he is not muddling his way through some fiction, he usually writes about What Greg Eats.

Goddesses for Every Day

New World Library was kind enough to send me a copy of “Goddesses for Every Day” by Julie Loar. Being a fan of big books that have lots of info about lots of different religions, I was excited to dig in. What I wasn’t prepared for, was to learn what a thoughtful, inspiring book this has turned out to be.

“Goddesses for Every Day: Exploring the Wisdom & Power of the Divine Feminine Around the World” features a selection of 366 goddesses that cover every religious and spiritual tradition you can imagine. Loar arranged the book to be a journey you take throughout the course of a year, and opted to arrange the deities by zodiac sign for those of you who like a little astrology with your goddesses. (For those of you still reeling or afflicted with concern about potential astrological upheaval thanks to the Minneapolis Star Tribune I’ll direct your attention to the always fantastic The Wild Hunt for their take on the issue.) At the beginning of each zodiac section of the year, Loar assigns a sacred feminine symbol and explains the characteristics of the sign and why specific goddesses were selected for that section.

Each day you’re introduced to a new goddess, Loar presents a theme along with a brief description of the goddess and the role she has played, or still plays today, and a contemplation to think about. What I found particularly interesting is that Loar suggests that not only can her book be a goddess a day book, but that “Goddesses for Every Day” can also be used as an oracle by setting an intention or asking a question and then allowing the pages to be turned at random, opening where it may, and let the wisdom of that goddess speak to you. A use that never would have occurred to me, but upon reflection makes perfect sense.

I’m not going to list every goddess in the book here for you, but to show the varied range we’re talking about here are a few: Athena, Selket, Inari, Paivatar, Ninlil, Mary Magdalene, Kwan Yin, Bast, and many more. A serious person, a respectful person, would undertake the work in the manner it was presented by the author; as a daily practice. However, I’m an asshole so I did what any disrespectful woman with this book in her hands would do….I immediately flipped to see what goddess was assigned to my birthday. Having done so, I thought I would share it with you to give you a feel for what each day holds.

May 29th (Yep, that’s my birthday…send gifts!)

Goddess: Polik Mana, Butterfly Maiden

Theme: Longevity

Butterfly Maiden, or Polik Mana to the Hopi, is a maiden who dances in the spring to bring life-giving rain to the deserts of Arizona and elsewhere on the earth. She is also a woman dancer at initiations for young Hopi girls. The Butterfly Dance takes place in August or September and is filled with beautiful color and gratitude, recalling the beauty of the butterfly as she dances from flower to flower in spring, pollinating the fields and bringing joy.

As many as one hundred pairs of girls and boys dance in the village plaza in late summer before the harvest, giving thanks for what Butterfly Maiden accomplished through her spring dance. The children are accompanied by a chorus of fathers, brothers, and uncles chanting meaningful lyrics. They pray for rain, health, and long life for all creatures as they give thanks for the blessings Butterfly Maiden gave by pollinating fields and flowers.

Contemplation: My life is a dance of joy, and happiness extends its duration.

For all the beauty, and the serene joy Loar expresses in “Goddesses for Every Day”, there is also a rebellious spirit. Loar is on a mission to not let another girl grow up without knowing the power and importance of the sacred feminine.

“Ancient Egyptians said every woman was a nutrit, a ‘little goddess’ who partook of the nature of the powerful goddess Nut. And, as you embark on your own journey around the sacred wheel, I hope you will be empowered to become the goddess you are, consciously embodying love, strength, courage, compassion, inner beauty, and receptivity. That’s the way we’ll save the world: one empowered woman at a time,” Julie Loar from the Preface of “Goddesses for Every Day”.

Monster Energy Drink Logo Decoded

Energy drinks have always scared me. I don’t know why, but I’ve always been nervous about trying any of them. Seriously, when did a breakfast of brownies and Mountain Dew stop being enough of a pick me up? Man, I miss my teenaged metabolism. So anyway, I’m a big energy drink ‘fraidy cat and I admit to it. However, if Suroh is to be believed, perhaps there is another more complex reason to explain my aversion to Monster Energy Drink.

Monster Energy Drink Logo Decoded

By Suroh
(Article was originally published on 12/4/10 at http://thesurohorus.tk/ and is used with the author’s permission.)
At some point, unbeknownst to me, Suroh’s website disappeared. However, we already had permission and the article so we have opted to still publish it. Update: The site is back up at this new address.

An Unholy Sacrament?Monster Energy drinks logo has deep roots in esoteric symbolism, if we examine the logo in total we will see how even a seemingly simple logo can hold vast amounts of symbolism. I would like to thank Freeman of FreemanTv.com for pointing this out to the public. After looking at the claws and noticing the hidden 666 symbolism I began to see much more hidden right before my eyes. I then decided to do a complete breakdown of the logo.

666 and the Claw Marks

When I first heard about the symbolism in the Monster logo, it was about a hidden 666 encoded within the 3 claw marks. At first this seems extremely far fetched and arbitrary, but when we examine the 3 claw marks which are glowing, they clearly resemble the 6th letter of the Hebrew Alphabet Vau (ו).

Vav

In the beginning of Creation, when Infinite Light filled all reality, G d contracted His Light to create hollow empty space, as it were, the “place” necessary for the existence of finite worlds. Into this vacuum God drew down, figuratively speaking, a single line of light, from the Infinite Source. This ray of light is the secret of the letter vav. Though the line is singular in appearance, it nonetheless possesses two dimensions, an external as well as an internal force, both of which take part in the process of Creation and the continuous interaction between the creative power and created reality.

The external force of the line is the power to differentiate and separate the various aspects of reality, thereby establishing hierarchical order, up and down, within Creation. The internal force of the line is the power to reveal the inherent interinclusion of the various aspects of reality, one in the other, thereby joining them together as an organic whole. This property of the letter vav, in its usage in Hebrew, is referred to as vav hachibur, the vav of connection”–”and.” The first vav of the Torah–”In the beginning G d created the heavens and [vav] the earth” serves to join spirit and matter, heaven and the earth, throughout Creation. This vav, which appears at the beginning of the sixth word of the Torah, is the twenty second letter of the verse. It alludes to the power to connect and interrelate all twenty-two individual powers of Creation, the twenty-two letters of the Hebrew alphabet from alef to tav. (The word et [which appears before the two instances of the word “the” in this verse, and is spelled alef-tav] is generally taken to represent all the letters of the alphabet, from alef to tav. Our Sages interpret the word in this verse to include all the various objects of Creation present within heaven and earth.)

To those who have no knowledge whatsoever of the Hebrew alphabet this encoded symbol would go unnoticed forever. It is also interesting to note that the letter Vau in Arabic looks like a 6 or 9 (و). In most ancient languages each letter had a numerical value and a symbolic value. In the case of the letter Vav its value is 6 and its symbol is Pin or Hook. As there are three claw marks or Vavs this can then be interpreted as “666″ numerically using classic Hebrew Gematria.

Here we have a simple rendering of the logo, but instead of the claw marks I remade the logo with the letter Vau. The similarities are extremely visible. The number 666 is associated with the Sun, as it is the Sum of all the numbers in its Magical Square. The glowing effect supports the Sun symbolism. Next I looked deeper into the meaning of the Vau. In Kabbalah each letter of the Hebrew alphabet is also associated with one of the 22 Trump cards of the Tarot. In the case of Vau it is associated with the Hierophant card.

V – The Hierophant

Path of Vau 16 in the Tree of Life Sun in Sagittarius as a symbol for the teacher of inner values, Jupiter in Pisces as the vision of eternity
Zodiac: Taurus
Tree of life: From Chokmah to Chesed
Element: Earth
Number: 5 as quintessence, the power that exceeds the four elements

The Hierophant is a symbol for a world of belief and confession, may it be a church, a sect or an occult society. He’s the pope, the druid or the High Priest in a system of creeds and dogmas. He represents the religious and intellectual tradition of a person, and may be the one the person is born to it or possibly the one who has chosen it by himself.

In the positive aspect, the Hierophant represents the search for knowledge and illumination, the desire to study creed and dogma instead of simply accepting them, to research and achieve further development. It also stands for the deep fulfillment someone can find when really trusting their own beliefs.

In a negative view, the Hierophant can stand for bigotry, the blind faith in dogma, intolerance towards everything different from the own confession. It can also mean gullibility, running to any kind of new belief just because the traditional one is suddenly considered boring or unsatisfying.

Stylized Letters

The first thing I noticed was the odd style of two letters in the word below the claw marks. The letter O in Monster has a t or cross over a U or half circle, this is to symbolize Saturn as it is an interpretation of the two shapes of the Saturn Symbol ♄. The symbol of Saturn itself can be broken down into two elements: a half circle and a cross. The half-circle meaning Soul (Spirit) and the cross meaning matter. As we move through the word the next letter that stands out is the letter “S”. This letter symbol is more apparent it looks very much like a “5″. On the Tree of Life the 5th Sephira is Strength (Geburah) which is associated with Mars and its attributes. In summary the word Monster contains hidden symbols corresponding to the planets Mars, and Saturn.

Planetary Energy

Here we have chart of the planets the associated correspondences (Sphere of Influence, Color Associations, and God Name).

Conclusion

By taking the above information into account we can now apply the symbolism to the Tree of Life and see the deeper meaning the symbol and the effect it is designed to create. The logo of Monster Energy drinks also has 3 hidden planetary glyphs aligning it with the Sun, Saturn and Mars which interestingly enough are all closely inter-connected on the Tree of Life. As we can see it forms a Triangle on the Left hand side of the tree which is the Negative or Baneful Side of the tree. Strength (Mars), 666 (Sun), Saturn (Material Power) and the Search for inner knowledge and enlightenment. All by simple changes in the letters and shapes which can and do go unnoticed by the everyday customer.

How good can this drink be for you after all?

Can the energies focused by the symbol on the cans influence the drinkers to be more negative and violent?

You decide!

To see more articles like this, visit http://suroh.tk/

The Living Magick Tarot Challenge: January 2011

Image Courtesy of Living Magick.

Here we are again folks, but I’m happy to say I’m back on track. You may recall that last month I confessed to doing just about nothing with my cool Living Magick tarot learning cards, despite committing to working on it just one month prior. I may lack discipline, but at least I’m honest.

This month I did a much better job of working with the flash cards, but it was frustrating because I’d forgotten much of what I had learned in November! So January was about relearning the Major Arcana, and I’m pleased to say that with regards to that I’m now in good shape. I know the general theme of each card, its astrological association, and some other keywords associated with each card. Once you remember the general theme, the keywords are pretty easy to recall since they’re generally off shoots of the general theme. The astrological associations were a bit tougher until I remembered what I had learned from “The Magical I Ching” by J.H. Brennan.

For a class I needed to learn the basics of working with the I Ching and Brennan’s book was the main text for the class. In learning the trigrams he suggests coming up with visual cues for each trigram, and the more bizarre, the more likely you are to remember the meaning. For example, his text about the trigram of Gentle or Wind is as follows:

To help you remember the trigram itself, I noted that it was broken at the bottom. There are few things you could imagine quite so rude as breaking Wind from your bottom.

I know, I know, this sort of image is thoroughly unsuitable for a sober tome on a spiritual oracle…but you’ll never forget that trigram now, will you? And by the way, if you must break wind, do it gently. That way you’ll remember the other title of the trigram.

I love me some Brennan! Now Living Magick’s tarot learning cards do not have images, which I rather like because these days who knows what image will appear on any given card of any given deck. However, I was still able to use absurd associations to help learn the astrological signs for each card.

For example, the astrological association given for The Fool is Uranus. I immediately thought about how young kids (and well, many adults) will always chuckle at Uranus. You said Uranus…heh, heh, heh. So obviously a fool says Uranus. Is it sound logic? No. Has it worked? Yes. More bizarre still was while learning a favorite card of mine, The Hanged Man, its astrological sign is Neptune. What odd string of logic did I use to remember this? The Hanged Man’s legs are generally drawn with one leg straight and the other bent. It’s kind of trident-esque and the trident is often depicted with the god Neptune. It’s totally weird and embarrassing to admit to, but it’s getting the job done.

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to apply this “logic” to learning about Cups in the Minor Arcana, but I’ll obviously let you know how it goes. And again, thanks to Living Magick for the great deck! It’s a real boon for a beginner like me!

Shepherd’s Pie with The Magical Buffet

I rarely do follow ups on stories we publish. I’m not certain why, but I suspect it has something to do with me being equal parts absentminded and lazy bastard. However, an invitation to my parents for dinner at our apartment presented me with a chance to follow up on an article written for The Magical Buffet by Dawn Hunt.

On December 19, 2010 Dawn Hunt, the fantastic lady behind Cucina Aurora Kitchen Witchery, offered up some thoughts on magical cooking and shared with us a recipe for Shepherd’s Pie. I decided that dinner with my parents would be a perfect occasion to try out her recipe.

When I woke up that morning our apartment smelled delicious. Wonderful meaty, rosemary aromas were wafting into every nook. Confused I wandered out to the kitchen to find that my husband was already cooking up the meat mix and making the mashed potatoes! He figured we’d make the two parts up in the morning, and then just put it together and throw it in the oven when it was close to dinner time. That worked out great, and even better for me because I ended up doing next to nothing for dinner aside from eating it!

Behold! There be Shepherd's Pie!

We all declared the Shepherd’s Pie a success, however everyone but myself found it to be a touch bland. Here’s the thing about that, I’ve been suffering from some extreme indigestion and heartburn lately so Jim cut back on the amount of onion and garlic that went into the dish. Given my body’s condition, the meal was great, but I suspect if he had used the full amounts of onion and garlic everyone else would have found it to be more flavorful. Sorry folks! My bad!

Anyway, I thought I’d let you know that Hunt’s recipe has now been taste tested and approved by The Magical Buffet! I’m hoping to have Dawn back again to share more kitchen witchery and recipes with us, until then, I really need to get around to trying Deborah Blake’s rum cake recipe…..

The Essential Ida Craddock

In the interest of not getting my latest book review caught up in spam filters, I will not be using its title here, instead I’ll use its subtitle “The Essential Ida Craddock”. How sad that even in these modern times there is still trouble trying to share Craddock’s work?

Now that we’re past the email excerpt that gets sent to you if you’re a subscriber (You are a subscriber, right?) let’s give this book it’s due by using it’s full title. Thanks to the kind folks at Red Wheel/Weiser I was given a copy of “Sexual Outlaw, Erotic Mystic: The Essential Ida Craddock” to review.

Who is Ida Craddock? The photo of Craddock on the cover shows an attractive woman of her era (she was born in 1857 and sadly took her own life in 1902). If not for her claims of having an intimate relationship with an angelic being, she would very much fit the profile of a conservative spinster. However, Craddock’s willingness to discuss sex (and the idea that the act may exist for reasons other than procreation), whether you believed her partner was an entity from the “Borderlands” or an elicit, but earthly affair, forever changed the way that people view sex, magical and new thought traditions consider sex, and she ended up dying a martyr in the fight for free speech. She defended the belly dancers of the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago, championed the idea of sex as a spiritual act, and in the end, faced off with the notorious Anthony Comstock. Craddock lost the battle with Comstock, but the publication of her suicide note certainly turned the tides of the war champions of free speech were waging against him.

When Craddock took her life, her work was packaged away to be kept safe. Despite endorsements from medical professionals, spiritual leaders, and several members of high society, Craddock’s persecution led her to determine that society may not be ready for her work. Fortunately, through the diligence of the lawyer Theodore Schroeder her works were preserved, and now author Vere Chappell has polished and compiled them for a culture that may be ready to learn more about Craddock and her writing.

Vere Chappell provides the readers with important unedited Craddock writings, such as “Heavenly Bridegrooms” and “The Danse du Ventre (Dance of the Abdomen) as performed in the Cairo Street Theatre, Midway Plaisance Chicago: Its Value as an Educator in Marital Duties”, but more importantly he provides the necessary historical context to understand Craddock’s work and life.

“Sexual Outlaw, Erotic Mystic” gives the reader amazing insight into the life and work of woman little mentioned but deserving in recognition.

Immortal Blues: Part One

By Greg Bullard

Welcome to part one of the nine part fiction series “Immortal Blues” by Greg Bullard. In our first installment there is gun fire, spanakopita, classic blues music, and eventually a decision to visit The Crone.

The world slowed down around me – the same way it always does when someone tries to kill me. I’d love to sound all blasé, remark that this is so tedious, but truth is, to this day my knees still get shaky when someone tries to ice me. It doesn’t matter that they’ve almost no chance of succeeding.

On this particular cool April night, I had just rounded a corner in the Lower East Side when that feeling hit. You know the feeling – ok, probably not – but it’s like your head is suddenly submerged in a bucket of ice water. You come out frosty and alert, senses firing on all cylinders, the world moving in slow motion, acutely aware of everything. That’s the feeling I had now.

Briefly I mulled over what was special about tonight that someone should try to off me, but I came up with nothing. I’d just left this little Greek place in Greenwich Village. Their spanakopita was worth the trek. It was made by the gnarled fingers of an old Grecian grandmother whose face had so many lines it looked like she’d worn out a few bodies getting it there. She didn’t have many years left on her, so I went a few times a month. In my situation, you have to be mercenary about these things. It all goes by in a blink.

I was walking along towards no particular destination, head full of cobwebs, submersed in the sensory deluge that is New York City – a cacophony of sights, smells and sounds fit to drown out everything else in the world when that frosty feeling hit. I took stock of my situation.

Mostly I could smell the bucket at my feet, full of cigarette butts soaked with run off from the earlier rains. Nearby, dinner was almost ready for someone – meatloaf I think. Beyond that, I could pick up rank body odor muted only slightly by the last traces of soap used earlier in the week; both were topped with a fresh splash of cheap beer.

I was facing the wrong way; I didn’t see my would-be assailant. All I saw were the tenement slums of the Lower East Side, broken in spots by the black iron bars of a closed business. Most of those doors had been shuttered for years or more.

From a cracked window overhead spilled the dulcet tones of a blues guitar. Blood dripped from the end of each dying note as the calloused fingers of the blues man picked out each sound and gave it up to the world as an offering of his pain. I paid attention to which window it was. When I sorted out this life and death shit, I had to pay him a visit.

The only other thing I heard was the creaking metallic strain of the spring in a double-action revolver as the hammer drew steadily and quickly back, cocking the gun to fire.

I swung my head around to catch a glimpse of my assassin. I locked gazes with him and took the full measure of his thoughts. He was scared. He wasn’t a killer; he was a hard-up loser paid to pull a trigger for the cash it took to ride his addictions straight to hell. Poor, sad bastard.

Click. The hammer passed its first position on the way back to locking full before crashing forward onto the firing pin.

There were at least seven ways I could kill him in that interminably long tenth of a second playing out in slow motion as his gun readied to fire. Instead, I nodded my head imperceptibly in his direction, reality twisted slightly and I took a step to my left, into the shadows.

Fire blossomed from the end of the gun and at speeds that were fast even for me the bullet travelled the distance between us and collided with my chest, neatly piercing the skin, shattering and rupturing the bones and organs underneath. The relative silence of the nearly abandoned city street was destroyed by the report of the gun. The fading echoes were punctuated by the thud of my body collapsing back in a heap, eyes open to reflect the glint of the odd street light not burned out from neglect.

At least, that’s what he thought happened.

I moved unseen on noiseless feet to my killer’s side and lifted the bundle of cash from his pocket. He didn’t really need it and after he tried to kill me, I really deserved it. Besides, it could lead me to whoever hired him. His eyes were fixed on a spot on the ground, twelve feet in front of him, where he was certain he was watching my lifeless body bleed out on the pavement. He turned and ran.

The acrid smoke from the spent cartridge nearly drowned out wet cigarettes, unwashed bodies and cheap beer. Overhead, the last note of Robert Johnson’s, “Hell Hound on my Trail,” spilled out of that same cracked window and hung in the air just like the smoke, drowning out the world around it.

My eyes lingered on the spot where I’d just died, at least as far as my junkie, killer friend was concerned. My stomach flip-flopped, but I was determined not to lose my spanakopita. I wiped my forehead on my sleeve, even though I wasn’t sweating. Settling my hat back on my head, brim down low, I took comfort in the shadows hiding my face.

My fingers closed on the wad of cash in my pocket. Would my answers lie there? The Crone would know.

In the distance a woman screamed, a long keening wail that ripped and tattered what calm remained within me.

I took off at a brisk pace, my steps chewing up the distance as I made for friendlier streets. Behind me the blues guitar launched into the oddly upbeat Blind Lemon Jefferson song, “See That My Grave is Kept Clean.”

About Greg Bullard:
Greg currently resides in Austin, TX, trying to do his part to Keep Austin Weird. While his wife, Julia, and daughter, Emily, both work hard to keep him on his toes, it is Julia’s red editing pen that does the most work. When he is not muddling his way through some fiction, he usually writes about What Greg Eats.

My Trip to Darkside

On Saturday January 15, 2011 I went to the grand opening of Darkside Records and Gallery in Poughkeepsie, NY. A couple of my former retail cohorts are involved with the business and I couldn’t resist coming out to show my support, and it was really worth the trip.

I was blown away by the store. They have tons of albums, actual honest to goodness vinyl records! I know vinyl still has a following (or has a following again, depending on your perspective) but I was unprepared to see the sheer volume of people that came in just to shop for vinyl records. People were leaving with two or three shopping bags worth! The store is also selling record players and I was sorely tempted to buy one and go to town shopping for vinyl, but I managed to show some self control, the last thing I need is yet more stuff to collect and store.

Another great surprise was that the gallery part of Darkside is actually a gallery. I had kind of imagined the “gallery” would be like what you see at coffee shops, where the art is hung up with big price stickers and just generally not very exciting or overly professional. Well, Darkside’s Gallery is a gallery. I got to meet the gallery’s curator Vanessa, and the staff told me about the exacting work it was to make certain each artist’s work was handled correctly and displayed to the artist’s specifications. Instead of big ol’ price stickers there are discreet numbers near the work that allow the staff or customers to look up the price.

The artists who were being shown at this first exhibit were Chris Machin, NUB, and Jessica Schrufer. I fell in love with a piece Jessica Schrufer did and fortunately they were selling prints of it. I have it framed and hanging above the sink in our kitchen and it never ceases to bring a smile to my face when I look at it. Jessica told me one day she’d love to have a kitchen designed around the piece, and I’ve got to say, I would too.

Not only did I buy some great art, but my husband and I bought the greatest magnets ever. When Jim caught up with me at Darkside I explained to him that the store was selling these 100% pure awesome magnets and I was having a really tough time resisting buying some. He told me I could certainly buy one if I wanted, but I told him that was the problem, I couldn’t just choose one, there were too many fantastic magnets. When I finally took him over to the box with the magnets, Jim quickly conceded that I was not exaggerating in the least, that these magnets were too awesome for words. In the end I picked the “La Muerte” magnet, Jim picked the “I Spit on Your Grave” magnet, and then together we decided to add in the “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” magnet. I bet you wish your office filing cabinet looked as bad ass as mine does now.

File Under B for Bad Ass

If you’re anywhere near Poughkeepsie, NY you’ve got to stop in, it’s a real treat. I’m hoping once we’re clear of the unpredictable New York winter season I’ll be able to visit each month for the reception for the new art exhibits.

To learn more about Darkside, visit their website.

Modern Knights: Stewards of the Earth

by Kerr Cuhulain

I’m a modern knight. That doesn’t mean that I go about in shining armor seeking dragons to slay and maidens to rescue. It doesn’t actually involve wearing plate and chain mail at all. It does mean that I’m committed to a Code of Chivalry. It means that I recognize my connection to the Earth and that I’m a steward committed to protecting the world we live in.

As I said in my new book Modern Knighthood: The white knight is a fictional character. This image of the perfect white knight has a lot in common with the Wiccan Rede. Both are ideals. The Wiccan Rede says “harm none”. But consider: To stay alive, we must eat. We live because we consume dead plants and animals. Death comes from life and life from death. The challenge, then, is to find the balance, to be the steward who tries to be responsible and maintain balance within the natural world, knowing that they are part of it. A popular Wiccan song reminds us that we all come from the Goddess, and to Her we all return.

Some people seem to think that “going green” and living organically is an expensive path that’s out of their reach. Anyone who has been to visit the Motherhouse of my Order of Scathách can see very quickly that this isn’t the case at all. We’re all very conscious of environmental and green issues. A lot of our training centers on making ourselves stewards of the Earth.

It’s easy to do and can actually save you money. First on the list: Turn down the temperature. Someone back in the 50s decided that our homes should be heated to 70 – 72 F (20 – 22 C) to be comfortable. I think that the person that came up with that may have been working for a furnace fuel supply company. We’ve had the temperature here at the Motherhouse down at 62 F (16 C) for years and everyone is quite comfortable. It saves us a lot on heating and reduces our emissions.

Secondly, we make sure that every electronic device that doesn’t need to be plugged in is unplugged. A lot of those devices, even though they are “off”, have power lights or clock displays that use energy. If the computer isn’t in use, it’s off. We keep any lights off that aren’t being used. When I renovated the Motherhouse I installed a lot of skylights and windows to eliminate the need for using artificial lighting in the daytime.

Thirdly: Grow your own food. All of the kitchen herbs and many of the medicinal herbs that we use here we grow: oregano, sage, lemon balm, thyme, chives, parsley, chervil, rosemary, marjoram, basil, etc. We’ve got a small greenhouse that it all fits into. For example: I grow so much feverfew in the garden (which is really easy to grow) that I supply it to all the migraine sufferers in our Order as well as my fellow employees at work (who’d otherwise be paying a fortune for it at some health food store). There are a lot of things that you can grow, like chamomile, comfrey, and horehound, that can replace the medicines you’re currently paying a fortune for at the local pharmacy. We grow our own potatoes, tomatoes (in the greenhouse), rhubarb, onions, garlic, asparagus, and beans and save a fortune. It is all organic and you don’t pay exorbitant prices for it.

Fourth: Reduce waste by composting. All of the kitchen waste, dryer lint, and shredded documents go into the composts (we have four). I’m sure that many people balk at this after checking out the prices of composters on line: Some sell for hundreds of dollars. However, many cities offer their citizens deals on cheap composters these days as a means of encouraging this practice to reduce the amount of waste going to their landfills. Surrey, BC, where we live offers really good composters for only $50. All our compost goes into the aforementioned garden and saves us having to buy fertilizer.

Fifth: Cook your own food. I’m constantly amazed at work at the amount people spend on junk food. They tell me that they don’t have time to cook. I’m sure that it was some convenience food advertising that convinced them of this. Quite a few have converted once I showed them how little time it really takes and how little it costs. I bake all of my own bread and all you need to do that quickly is to invest in a good mixer with a dough hook. Did you know that you can bake really good bread in a ceramic flower pot? The Welsh used clay pots for centuries to bake bread (I just made some today). You get food fresher and with less additives and eat healthier. If you buy local produce, you support local farmers while keeping down the pollution as the food you buy wasn’t trucked or flown in from half a continent away. I just published a cookbook on ancient recipes that has lots of old fashioned stuff that is easy and cheap to make.

Sixth: We pride ourselves on having a neat and clean Motherhouse, but it doesn’t cost a fortune in cleaners to do it. We use vinegar to clean the hardwood and tile floors and baking soda to scrub out bathtubs and sinks. These do a great job at a fraction of the cost.

About Kerr Cuhulain:
Kerr Cuhulain has been a Wiccan for 40 years and was involved in anti-defamation activism and hate crimes investigation for the Pagan community from 1986 to 2005. Kerr was awarded the Shield of Valor by the Witches League for Public Awareness. Kerr is the author of the “Law Enforcement Guide to Wicca”, “Witch Hunts”, “Wiccan Warrior”, “Full Contact Magick” and “Magickal Self Defense”. Kerr has a column with 182 articles on anti-defamation issues and hate crimes on The Witches’ Voice web site called Witch Hunts. His latest book, Modern Knighthood, is now a Smashwords ebook. He is the co author of a safety book for social workers and nurses: Safe Approach. He is starting to write fantasy fiction now also.

Kerr is the former Preceptor General of Officers of Avalon, an organization representing Neo-Pagan professionals in the emergency services (police, firefighters, emergency medical technicians). Kerr retired from the Vancouver Police Department in November 2005 after serving 29 years with them. He was awarded the Governor General’s Exemplary Service Medal. Kerr’s past job assignments within the VPD include the Emergency Response Team, Hostage Negotiator, Child Abuse Investigator, Gang Crime Unit, and the Mental Health Emergency Services Unit. Kerr is currently working as a police dispatcher and trainer for ECOMM for Southwestern BC.

Kerr is the Grand Master and founder of a Wiccan order of Knighthood called the Order of Scáthach in Surrey, British Columbia in October 2007. The Order is now a registered society in the province of British Columbia and the sponsor of Vancouver Pagan Pride. The Order of Scáthach embraces the Warrior philosophies, precepts and code of chivalry outlined in Kerr’s books.

To learn more about Kerr, follow his Twitter feed, read his blog, or friend him on Facebook!

The Age of Disco

By Rebecca
Illustration by Will Hobbs

In my opinion, my husband is a genius when it comes to table top role-playing games. When it comes to ideas and variety of storytelling techniques, there are few I’ve encountered that can compare to him. (For those of you unfamiliar with the kind of games I’m talking about, I’ll direct your attention to an interview with game designer Steve Kenson who did a great job discussing RPGs for beginners.) Jim has this neat ability to see or hear a snippet of something and suddenly just whip out a great idea. Routinely I’ll sit with him in the car and just start throwing out random thoughts and ideas about something he’s considering and generally the dumber the suggestion the more likely it is that he’ll evolve it into something awesome. One example, a villain who is a master of Feng Shui that kills people by rearranging their rooms in a way that blocks the necessary flow of energies for survival. That started with me suggesting that if a game is set in modern day San Francisco you needed some kind of hippy/new age villain.

It’s that kind of awesome that made it so when one day Jim said to me, “How about a disco martial arts setting?” I knew it could be bad ass. All the fun of the 70’s, complete with disco music and dancing, but the martial arts were actually a part of the disco dances of the era. I immediately fell in love with the idea. In fact, I loved the idea so much that I instantly came up with the idea for an introduction vignette in which one of those disco warriors talks about the time in her youth spent fighting a secret war couched in disco. Of course, my fangirl levels of excitement can’t actually force Jim to create something when his head isn’t in it, so my little story has been just hanging around on my computer waiting for some love. That’s when I decided that although I’m not really a fiction writer, (or a writer, for that matter) this story was pretty fun and that I would share it with Magical Buffet readers.

So here, for your enjoyment I present to you what I’m currently calling “The Age of Disco”…… (By the way, I totally call dibs on the disco martial arts idea! Mine! Mine! Mine!)

I’d been watching her for months. Three or four nights a week I see her climbing either out of, or back into her bedroom window. The whole neighborhood is populated by the aging, those of us racing towards retirement. A veritable paradise to a 16 year-old girl looking to sneak out of the house; just wait until all the “old folks” are asleep and the night is yours. I doubt she ever realized that I’m a bit of a night owl.

Tonight I watched her climb out of the window and race off into the night. After her departure I climbed up and stuck a note to her window, “Come over tonight, or I’ll rat you out to your parents. Tina” She’ll come, I know her type.

I was once a 16 year-old you know; climbing out of my bedroom window, catching a cab, hopping the subway, and dancing my way through every disco club the city had to offer. I wasn’t out for a thrill and I wasn’t looking for love. I just wanted to dance. Fortunately, as I’m sure my young friend has discovered, when you’re a 16 year-old girl willing to show a little skin, there isn’t really a line you can’t jump to get into a club. I’ve noticed the smudged ink on her hands; she’s been stamped at a multitude of bars.

After months of dancing my way through some of the finest, and sometimes sleaziest, discos the city had to offer I finally settled on my home base. It was a small storefront club. It boasted none of the trappings of most other clubs; no velvet rope, no bouncer, no neon sign; just a small plaque by the door with the name “Tony’s”. The interior was relatively drab. There was a small bar, a wooden dance floor, and a modest raised platform where the DJ spun some of the best disco the era had to offer. Yes, good disco. I had danced there for months before I finally met Tony.

There was a rumor that Tony, despite being an African American, had actually spent 10 years in China before returning to the U.S. to open his club. I assumed it was a rumor designed to give a sense of international chic to what most people would consider a dumpy, small time disco bar. One night I was out on the floor, dancing with some schmuck who thought he had a chance, and the next thing I knew, I was dancing with Tony instead. He was older, and black, and everything my parents would fear for me if they knew I was out on my own at sixteen. If they had ever realized what had happened to me, I would have never seen the outside world again.

Disco has a hidden heart, pulsing with a secret rhythm that if tapped into can change the very fabric of reality. Tony had been to China. The monks there taught him the most secret and sacred of martial arts. Tony hid the moves and beats within the very disco music dominating the dance floors. It turned out there were dozens of factions, some good, some bad, and some neutral, infiltrating the popular culture through disco to fight a secret war with the enlightenment of mankind on the line.

I became a warrior in low rise blue jeans and platform shoes. I was Tony’s devoted disciple and he rewarded me with powers normal men could not imagine. I danced in a fury for a better world, risking my life and soul for those who could not dance for themselves. I was just a girl, but I gladly sacrificed what was left of my childhood to become a soldier, and how was I rewarded? How were we all rewarded? With ridicule. Me, and my fellow warriors of disco, became a joke, a punch line to a decade of excess. Good or evil, it didn’t matter in the eyes of the people. We were jokes, and we were done.

It’s hard to sacrifice so much only to lose so much more. Tony tried to hold onto to hope. He went to every two-bit radio station’s “disco sucks” rally to try and reason with the populace. He would dive into piles of burning LPs, trying to save the precious records of our greatest battles, all the while being jeered and pelted with beer cans. Soon enough “Tony’s” was boarded up, if you drove pass it today you would find a Starbucks. As for Tony, he disappeared. Rumor has it that he lost his life to the dark forces that worked so diligently to destroy the age of disco. However, I hope that he returned to China to work with the monks that tried so hard to enlighten humanity.

Of course, either way, he’s gone. Now I’m an unmarried, 50 year-old disco warrior, stuck waiting for a teenage girl to knock at my door. And right on time, I hear the knocking.

“All right Tina, I’m here like you asked. What’s your deal?”

“Drop the attitude missy and help me move this trunk.” Curiosity compels her, just like it did me years ago. She helps me with an over-sized locked trunk.

“Now sit down, shut your trap. You’re going to learn something tonight young lady.”

I pull the chain from under my shirt; the key dangling from the end unlocks the trunk. I pull out a record player and plug it into the wall outlet. With great care I dust off a pair of wooden platform shoes and place them in front of my young companion. Next to the shoes I set the pair of large golden hoop earrings that I unearth from the pouch they are kept in. Lastly, I pull out a single record, “Main Course” by the Bee Gees.

“These, my young friend, are our weapons. With these we fight against the oppressors. These things represent freedom, power, and potential. What we do with these things, determines our destiny.”

“Okay Tina, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you can tell my parents about sneaking out. I’m out of here.”

“You will stay right there!” I order. I put on the earrings, and slide on the shoes. I carefully remove the album from its sleeve and start it playing.

And with that, I begin to dance.

When the song ends I open my eyes and look at the 16 year-old sitting on my sofa. Her eyes gaze up into mine, with tears running down her cheeks, and she says one word, “Master.”