(normal text is Rebecca, italicized text is Lama Willa Miller)
It’s that time again! The “Everyday Dharma” challenge is back! This is where I’m sharing my progress of going through the book “Everyday Dharma: Seven Weeks to Finding the Buddha in You” by Lama Willa Miller. Week six was about growing your assets. Padmasambhava, who brought Buddhism to Tibet, developed a list of seven assets that are mastered on the path to awakening. These are trust, contentment, conscience, integrity, self-discipline, enthusiasm, and wisdom. I had the sneaking suspicion that this would not be any easy week!
Day one discussed trust because as Lama Willa says, “Trust is important for the spiritual path in that it is like a key. It opens the mind to possibility for growth and evolution.” There was a focus on trying to have a more open and flexible mind like a child’s. The exercise for the day was to enter into the state of mind that you had as a young child. Now I can get in touch with what I call “my inner 13 year-old” pretty easily, however rolling back to a true childlike state of trust is a bit more challenging. I can feel it in fleeting moments.
At some level, though it might be a deep level, we remember when the world was new to us. There was a time, as children, when we woke up to a world when we did things for the first time: we touched snow for the first time, or went on our first merry-go-round. As time goes on, however, we start to think we have experienced things before, that the world’s newness and novelty has worn off. From the point of view of our day to day experience, this might seem to be true. But it is worth pausing a moment and examining this. This is a perspective that relies on our memories of what we experienced before, but not so much on what we are experiencing now. When we look at things from the point of view of what we are experiencing now, however, we find a new way of being. From the point of view of this moment, things are fresh. We have never experienced this moment before. This moment is fresh, new, alive and completely unique. This very configuration of sounds and sights and feelings is fresh. This moment of touching snow, for example, is like touching it for the first time. Tibetan Buddhist teachings have a word for this. The word is “soma”, which means fresh and new. When we experience the world through the lens of “soma”, nothing is boring or old. The deeper truth is that the world is still new to us. When we get in touch with the wide-eyed openness we had as a child, we are actually more in touch with truth.
Day two was about how to trust wisely. This was about people and things are provisionally trustworthy and ultimately trustworthy. Anyone or thing that helps you on your spiritual path is trustworthy, however due to the impermanent and fluid nature of everything, these are only provisionally trustworthy. However wisdom-nature, yours and others, are ultimately trustworthy because wisdom-nature never departs. Lama Willa also explains the three developmental stages of trust that the Buddha taught: intuition, confidence, and certainty. The exercise for the day was to consider the things you can trust provisionally and ultimately in your own life.
I think it is important for us, as human beings to find a place of refuge in our lives. We need to feel safe and secure to flourish, to live up to our full potential. Unfortunately, we often take refuge in the wrong things, giving our heart and soul away to something unreliable and ephemeral, such as an addiction, money or an individual. Wise trust is an attitude the recognizes that our deepest place of trust is not in the ephemeral and changing world or in any one individual, but in our internal, unchanging wisdom-nature, or Buddha-nature. This is place of refuge that is deep and reliable, even when the world is going to pieces around us.
Because other people also have this wisdom-nature, we have good reason to trust them. But we also need to be wise about that trust, and not invest our heart and soul blindly. Confident relationships are based on a realistic point of view that takes things slowly. We have to know what and who we are trusting, even while looking beneath the surface to recognize their deeper nature, the one that mirrors our own.
Day three examined contentment. Lama Willa explains that “contentment in Tibetan is chok shepa, literally ‘knowing enough’. It means being satisfied with whatever you have, knowing that you do not need that new car, that big house, that person to make yourself content. Spiritual contentment implies being carefree, unattached, and unencumbered.” To achieve this Lama Willa discusses the practice called “equal taste”, which is working to realize that although suffering and happiness appear different; their core is a single taste, a single essence that transcends difference. The exercise for the day was to examine times when you’re happy or sad and look beyond the feeling to the core of the experiencer. This one really stumped me. I mean, I suppose when I’m happy I’m me, and when I’m sad I’m still me. So I am the same person regardless of the emotion I’m experiencing. However, I find happy and sad to be too far apart from each other to find an “equal taste”.
Don’t give up! Keep probing the question. When you are happy, try turning your mind inwards and asking “who is experiencing this state of happiness?” In other words, try to “see” the experiencer directly. When you are in a sad mood, try the same thing. You cannot think your way to an answer here. This is an intuitive exercise, not an analytical one. You actually have to try to catch the “I” that is experiencing pleasure or pain directly in the moment by looking inwards. The point is not to see the relative, constructed self [that person who is made up of our name, our age, our identity] but instead to see the experiencer of the emotion of happiness or the emotion of suffering right in the raw moment. We are not looking at the emotion, but looking at the experiencer of the emotion, so it does not matter how far apart the states of emotion are. The experiencer is still there. It is this mysterious “I” that we are looking at.
Day four was about appreciation helping cut through discontent. When you are discontented Lama Willa offers two methods to help. The first method is the path of analysis. Instead of obsessing over what you are not content with, ask yourself if you can do anything to change the situation for the better. If the answer is yes, there is no point in obsessing about it. If the answer is no, there is no point in obsessing about it because there is nothing you can do to change the situation. The second method is to interrupt your inner dialogue and think about the things you may normally overlook, but cherish in your life. Lama Willa says, “If you have to obsess, appreciate obsessively.” The exercise for the day was to consider the things you appreciate and think about what your life would be like without these things. This will help fill you with appreciation. From my experience, it works. Although I’m a worrier by nature, so it’s sometimes tough to derail my mind.
There is so much in every person’s life to be grateful for. Tangible things like food and clothing, and intangible things such as little daily interactions and coming home to our family. I was recently reading an article by some psychologists on gratitude. These researchers have found evidence that people who are grateful for their life, their friends and their family tend to also be (measureably!) happier and healthier.
Day five dealt with your conscience. According to Lama Willa, “Conscience, as a spiritual asset, is a moral radar that intuits right and wrong. Since a spiritual journey is focused on serving humanity, intuiting right and wrong comes down to intuiting help and harm.” Essentially we’re here to help and serve our fellow man; if we can’t help we should at least focus on not causing harm. We should endeavor to develop a spiritual gentleness. The exercise for the day is to identify your hard social edges, the mental, verbal, and physical patterns that put a wall between yourself and others. You’re then supposed to envision yourself softening and imagining an encounter where you let go of that habit. This is actually very complex for me. I suspect that my sarcasm could be said is something that creates hard edges and potentially builds walls, however, I think that most people who know me would argue that this is not the case. I certainly don’t think I use sarcasm in that way.
I think of a sense of humor as being a generally flexible and intuitive quality. But I suppose, as in the case of sarcasm and satire, it might be “edgy” as well. For the most part, we can rely on our internal feelings for this exercise. In Day 5, we pay attention to those moments when we feel rigid and tight inside. When we feel rigid and tight, that is sometimes an indicator of something in us that is blocked and not flowing easily. At these moments, our “hard edges” reveal themselves to us. When we act and speak at those moments, we sometimes inadvertently shut people out or shut them down. I notice this kind of rigid energy in myself sometimes when I feel anticipatory, such as before speaking in front of a group. Or when we are challenged by a situation or person, this rigid resistance comes up in the mind. The practice of “softening”, as taught by Atisha, is helpful to dissolve our rigid ways of acting, speaking and thinking. In this exercise we change our energy from rigid and fearful to receptive, compassionate and responsive. It takes self-awareness cultivated on a daily basis to begin to identify the rigid mind creeping up, and to replace it with a softer more spacious mind-frame.
Day six was about your spiritual integrity. “Spiritual integrity is the quality of being that prioritizes the transference of dreams into reality, the quality of being that does not settle for less than becoming transparent, honest, and whole now, or at least in the near future,” writes Lama Willa. She doesn’t tell you to radically overhaul your life all at once, but instead to make small changes and take small risks to help you live your life in harmony with the intentions and aspirations that you value most. The exercise was to reflect on if your life reflects the values that you hold most dearly. You’re then to decide on one small risk you’re willing to take this week to help bring your life more in line with your aspirations and intentions. I’ll be honest with all of you, I couldn’t figure out a small risk to take. I don’t feel like I’m living my life absolutely fully to my ideals, but apparently I’m close enough that I can’t think of anything small to try right now.
For me, the small risks sometimes come not in the form of doing, but rather of undoing. Many of us (especially those of us with a “yes” that leaps out of our mouths, seemingly with a mind of its own) can have a tendency to take on too much. It can feel risky to let go of that extra something that is taking our energy and focus away the core commitments of our life. For that kind of person, taking small risks can be just saying “no” sometimes, cutting down on the quantity of our activities, and focusing more on doing some deeply meaningful and fulfilling activities well, rather than many things poorly.
Day seven explored self-inquiry. Lama Willa states that “asking the question (who am I?) is an essential Buddhist practice because, no matter how good we are at philosophical speculation, we all live, breathe, act, speak, and function as if we believed in the existence of a self. That would not be so terrible, except that clinging to the notion of self causes our greatest sufferings and is the single biggest hindrance to developing universal love. It is the barrier that keeps us from recognizing out interdependence with the rest of humanity.” Repeatedly asking yourself, who am I, while in meditation is one of the best ways loosen your habit of grasping at your character traits, body and thoughts as if they were a solid self. You see your selflessness. The exercise for the day was to meditate and then abruptly ask yourself who is meditating. I must just not be there yet, because this did nothing but make me feel self-conscious and awkward. Maybe with time….
Yes, this takes time. Sometimes following along with a guided meditation makes the meditation of self-inquiry easier. Here’s a link to this meditation [and others from the book] on is iTunes!
This week has certainly given me a lot to reflect on! Stay tuned for the last week!
See you next week, Rebecca!
About Lama Willa:
Lama Willa Miller is a meditation teacher in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. She has studied and practiced meditation for the last twenty years, training with Venerable Kalu Rinpoche, Venerable Dilgo Khentse Rinpoche, Lama Norlha Rinpoche, Khenpo Tsultrim Gyatso Rinpoche, Bokar Rinpoche, and other teachers.
She completed two seminary trainings [three-year retreats] at Kagyu Thubten Choling in upstate New York, becoming authorized as a lama, a Buddhist minister, upon completion of her training. Before and after her retreats, she spent time in Nepal, Tibet, and India, studying Buddhism and engaging in service work.
She currently lives in Arlington, MA with her husband and two dogs, where she writes, teaches Tibetan Buddhist practice and meditation, principally with Natural Dharma Fellowship. She is also working towards a PhD at Harvard University.
Lama Willa is author of the book “Everyday Dharma: Seven Weeks to Finding the Buddha in You” (2009, Quest Books), a practical guide for getting started on the spiritual path. Visit her website here.
To follow Lama Willa on Twitter, go to http://twitter.com/lamawilla.
On Facebook? Join the Everyday Dharma Facebook group.
I wanted to give Vicky a history that contains a long-established enmity between her people and demons. So I started reading various mythologies. It took me a while to find one that clicked. Then I thought of the Mabinogion. Back when I was a graduate student studying medieval literature, I taught some courses in the legends of King Arthur, and one of my favorite texts was the Mabinogion, a collection of medieval Welsh tales and myths. Rereading the stories, I came across the legend of Ceridwen and Gwion Bach, which includes a shapeshifting contest (it’s a lot like the one in the Sword in the Stone, if you remember that movie). Shapeshifting seemed like a handy trait for a demon fighter, so I invented a Welsh race called the Cerddorion, the sons of Ceridwen. Among the Cerddorion, only females have the ability to shapeshift; they get it at puberty and lose it if they give birth. Unlike werewolves, they can change into any sentient creature at will (or sometimes strong emotion will force a shift), and they can shift three times per lunar cycle. These details were inspired by a very liberal interpretation of the Mabinogion tale.
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