I Love You to Death

By Alice Kina Diehl

Hey there Boys & Ghouls!!! Your favorite scream queen on wheels is back with another delicious holiday horror countdown. Let me paint a paint a lovely Valentine‘s Day picture for you.

Your amazing boyfriend/girlfriend spends all day setting up a special romantic dinner complete with mood music, rose pedals and scented candles to boot. As you arrive, much to your surprise, you get a beautiful bouquet of your favorite kind of roses, undertaker roses; very gothic of you. You notice safely nestled in your roses a beautifully hand written note that reads: “Roses are red, violets are blue I’m going to kill you and put you in our romantic fondue!” Well, now that you’ve got that chunky cannibalistic fondue in your head, I give you my top five Valentine’s Day flicks!

#5 My Bloody Valentine 3D
I know what you are thinking, “Alice have you lost it?” “My Bloody Valentine 3D?” I know it’s not the best film ever made but it is on my list for bias reasons. I took my then new girlfriend to see it for our second date. Knowing full well that she was not a horror fan whatsoever! She went with me anyways and sat though the whole thing. I was impressed to say the least. She has been my valentine for the past two years and still going strong. Cue the awwwwwwwww’s. This is a Valentine’s post after all.

Aside from my sappy story, “My Bloody Valentine 3D” has one awesome scene that made me happy. The deranged miner killer uses a mine pick to kill the desk clerk who happens to be a “little person”. Now, most people would say that offing a person with disability is a low blow in the script and offensive. Well, as a person with disability myself it made me laugh and smile. We can be killed in horror movies too!!

#4 Bride of Frankenstein
First off—DUH! This 1931 Karloff gem will always remain a classic. I think we all can agree that Frankenstein and his Bride, played by Elsa Lanchester will always be an essential romantic image in the history of cinema. Lastly, I dare you and your mate not to shed a tear or sport a quivering lip at the end when Karloff delivers his last line….“You stay. We belong dead.” Good Stuff!

#3 Shaun of Dead
I personally feel that this film should be put in every film list possible! Not only is it one of the best zombie films made in the last ten years, it also introduced us to a new kind of cinema romanticism—The Bro-mance! The chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost cannot be denied. I personally feel that your best pals make the best valentines, screw the significant others!

#2 Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Just a few reasons why this film was a shoe-in. 1.) Coppla . 2.) Wynona Ryder. 3.) Gary Oldman 4.) Lastly, they try to kill Keanu Reeves!

Francis always wondered why cinema never portrayed the original story of “Vlad Dracula” a member of the “order of the dragon” in 1462. He returns from battle only to find his beloved bride dead from suicide. She took her own life after rumors of her Prince’s death. Enraged at the notion of his wife being damned for committing suicide, Dracula desecrates his chapel and renounces God, declaring that he will rise from the grave to avenge Elisabeta with all the powers of darkness. What’s more romantic than that, ladies???

Watch it, it’s awesome!

#1 King Kong
“Twas beauty that killed the beast…” Thanks to Willis O’Brien who ingeniously created the stop-motion animation for this 1933 film achievement, I really feel that Kong is the ultimate miss-understood romantic. It was also the first film that made us really re-considered who “the monster” really was—Us! Powerful stuff and it still remains relevant even after all these years.

Well, there you have it the top five horror film for Valentine’s Day! Snuggle up close and enjoy!

About the Author:
Alice has been a horror movie buff since she was a little girl. Particularly the “Halloween” series. She hopes to be the first scream queen on wheels. She’s also an advocate for LGBT as well the disability communities. Been a nerd since conception. So proud! You can catch her on www.mynerdgirl.com as well her Facebook page.