How to Create Heart-Centered Relationships

By Deirdre Hade

Love is necessary for a happy life. When we have love, we’re happy. It’s simple; but getting, understanding, and maintaining love tends to be challenging. How do you go about creating a life of love and heart centered relationships?

Creating Heart Centered Relationships

To create heartfelt relationships, the first thing to remember is that, from the broadest of perspectives, everything in life is really the love story of the Universe. Think about that in terms of your life. What if every encounter with a person you desire a heartfelt relationship with was perceived and felt as a love scene? How would you ask for something? What would you say if you were upset or had been wronged? When you approach relationships from the love that resides within you instead of acting from your ego – seeking power, wanting to “win the seat,” or other ego generated dynamics – you will be able to create heart centered relationships.

Slay the Yetzer Hara and the Energy of Confusion

However, part of the human condition is what the Kabbalah calls the energy of the yetzer hara – the energy of confusion. This energy will show itself and arise in the times when we are closest with those we love. So, another key is to be watchful and to be aware that the energy of yetzer hara is going to show up. There’s no way around it. And when it does show up, the secret is to see it for what it is by engaging the “Silent Watcher” within. The Silent Watcher is the first embodiment of having a spiritual practice. It is the ability to impartially observe your internal landscape – your feelings, how your ego processes experiences, what your heart is feeling. When you’re in touch with your Silent Watcher, you can see negativity before it erupts and thus make a conscious choice to not play into the hands of the ego.

Cultivate Gratitude

Another useful practice for creating heart centered relationships is to affirm the love that others have for you. Acknowledge your gratitude for the presence and love that those in your life bring you. It’s especially important to affirm the positive when there is a disturbance in a relationship. You do this by separating the other person’s behavior from who they really are. By staying connected to their true heart and soul and breathing through the difficulties, you will not only stay connected to the people you love; you will give them the spiritual strength to overcome the demons and negativity they are experiencing.

Spend Time in Pure Silence

Remember, also, to spend time in pure silence on a regular basis in your most intimate relationships, such as with your partner, family, and close friends. The soul and heart know love. It’s our mouth, what we say, and our ego mind that sometimes gets in the way. Engage in a practice of spending time together without speaking – simply being and dropping into Presence. Let me give an example from my marriage: Will and I often take hands to simply look at each other and be in love, in silence. Invariably, this incredible presence of love is felt between the two of us. Another example is when my father and I would take silent walks together under the magnolias and the evergreen trees. Holding his hand in silence is one of my most cherished memories. It was worth everything in the world to have those moments of true love, especially now that he is gone.

About the Author:
Deirdre Hade is a mystic, artist and visionary elucidating the spiritual world. You can visit her at www.deirdrehade.com