When I set up my Facebook profile, it was to keep in touch with my friends who all seemed to be on there. Then, as anyone who has set up a Facebook profile knows, the next wave of people who got added to my friends were people from high school, which is back in Illinois. Add to that people I knew from my 10 years in retail, and then my current co-workers found me. However, I then found some authors and publicists that I’ve worked with and am friendly with. So I said, what the heck, and added them too.
Then, readers from The Magical Buffet started to find me and ask to be my friend on Facebook. How could I say no? After that, people who have worked with people I have worked with on The Magical Buffet wanted to be added to my friends. Why wouldn’t I?
The other day I took a step back from my Facebook page. What was meant to be my “personal” Facebook profile had spiraled out of control. I’m friends with all these people, not all of whom I know personally. I almost panicked at the sheer volume of people that were privy to status updates about a variety of things. Should Magical Buffet readers know I have a doctor’s appointment? Do my friends really care about articles I’m typing up?
Suddenly I found myself smiling. This wasn’t chaos, or an intrusion, this was integration. In that moment I realized that on a certain level I had become whole. The Rebecca from Illinois, is one with the Rebecca who worked in retail, is one with the Rebecca who works at the office, is one with the Rebecca who drinks and hangs out with gamers, is one with the Rebecca who publishes The Magical Buffet. There are no longer boundaries to who I am; I am all of them, together. To accept me, is to accept all of those different Rebeccas, because they are no longer compartmentalized.
Some may find it scary, and it is in a way. Letting people in is always a little frightening, whether in the real world or online. Maybe I’ll live to regret it, and if so, then I’ll have another Rebecca to fold into my being. For now, I’ve decided to enjoy the liberation that only comes from being open and honest about who you are, even if it’s with a bunch of anonymous people on the internet.